The Very Bad Gardener

Thursday, June 24, 2010

... that would be me.

Once Upon a Time there was a lady who owned an old house, built in 1855. The yard, obviously, was as old as the house. And both demanded her full attention regularly. She spent may years lovingly tending to her gardens, because she couldn't renovate the home yet. She planted several beds, weeded faithfully, and spent every spare minute outside. The owner did not wish to neglect the poor decaying house, but there was nothing she could do.

But then a miracle happened. She got a job, saved her nickels, and could finally renovate the house! Just in time, because the Big Bad Plaster Monster was crashing down on her head.

Her garden was sad and jealous. It pined (haha, get it?!) for her attention. Nary a glance from the neglectful owner. Then no rain fell in May. The flowers wilted, the grass faded.... brown and scorched, it cried for attention. Still no loving attention from the owner. Infrequently, they spotted her near the outdoor electric grill, but she never came near to see them. Despite such neglect, the flowers and shrubs tried their best to attract her attention.

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The month of June came along, dumping bucketfuls of rain onto the garden, until it cried for help. Weeds the size of Chewbacca grew and menacingly loomed over the poor little flowers and shrubs.

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Suddenly, a shadow nears! It is the owner! She has come back! At last, cry the irises; What took you so long, shout the lilacs!

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But their hopes are totally dashed. The owner steps near, casts a loving glance, and pauses only briefly to snap a few photos. She is soon off again.... only to blog about her bad deeds and suffering shrubbery. Oh, the agony!

The kitchen is going well, albeit slow. The gardens will have to wait. :(

The End.

1 remarks
Jay said...

Wow! What a fascinating little story you have going on here! :) Your plants do look good, BTW. :D

7:02 PM  

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